While emptying a house, have you ever seen something in it that blew your mind?
07.06.2025 03:48
I remarked, “Yeah, I hope so. Sarah’s gotten wound up and excited about going down there now.” The Deputy said, “I will bring him to y’all over there, hopefully aroundish at ten’nish.”
Eric was the top-student of his class, then out of the blue (no one knew why either), Eric then told Sarah, “keep the house” and removed his name off the house so it was now solely Sarah’s; after purchasing a land tract of 420 acres (no houses, just 100% wild), after he did years of research. It was David and Sarah’s decision to award Eric their Dad’s old Chevy C-10 (1972, long-bed, V-8), while Sarah acquired her mother’s car, which also is a classic, a 1970 Cadillac, 2 door. David already had a Jeep, which he brought after the death of their father; and used it for the Military, which was “on-base” when he was KIA.
Then processed the Rabbits, quartering them, and somehow, found room in the refrigerator to put them in. Placed the eggs on top of the small hay basket (for eggs) on the counter.
Do people really have sex with animals?
It was already dark, and the Appraiser, was ready to head home. I have no idea where he lives, but he told me to take him down to the diner. (Where we were staying at.) So I drove him off there, and the Owner’s daughter, she spied me, was a bit worried why we hadn’t returned. I assured her “Everything’s alright, Sarah’s happy there. We will stay there for a few more days.” She was happy to hear that.
I was NOT expecting this; Eric built a huge HOUSE! A two story plus the third (top) being a small cozy spot with a huge wrap around porch (for stalking and hunting) on the roof!
← me also doing a face palm
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Sarah was having second thoughts. But she couldn’t understand why I brought 2 cases of OFF sprays!
I wandered around up on the porch and saw what appeared to be a “small water mill”, there were several “hand pumps” (spring water). For some reason, someone placed rocks (put the water mill on a stop). I removed the rocks, and I could hear what sounded like a “generator” whine.
← Me 😐🤭🫢😑😐
Why do many women wear sleeveless shirts, more so than men?
After I had quartered the boar, seasoned it (Eric had tons of seasonings right there by the wood fire stove/oven and in the kitchen too. He was well stocked!), put the boar in the cast iron pot and set him to stew. I grabbed the Okra, diced the tomatoes, and the “bacon fat” part of the boar, in the pot and allowed it to simmer. Eric also made a Flour, Sugar, and Cornmeal Bin (100% Oak Wood), made some bread, and put that in the cast iron bread loaf, covering it with a towel; and set it aside to rest.
I saw the decal stickers - stuck here and there, so I walked around investigating to make sure it was all intact. I decided to enter in via the ROOF (surround platform - porch), all because I wasn’t sure if “we” would be back!
I spent at least until almost 1 AM in the morning, debating if I should buy this property for myself! This was my lifestyle! I would be extremely happy here so would my son!
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In 2022, I last spoke with Sarah, she had just returned back from the Hospital, won another battle with another type of cancer. She was glad she made the decision to stay there, and wrote a long note, that she was very sorry for the way she was in the beginning! I’ve responded back, but Sarah hasn’t replied yet. I do pray she’s doing well, after all, she did rescue 2 more horses!
The Appraiser had written just about every single thing in the house, while the Deputy departed (his shift started but it was a short shift, he would be off for the next two days), I agreed to take the Appraiser home myself. He went through 2 ledger pads! I mean, this guy notated everything! The sizes, the designs, the construction, you name it, he didn’t miss a beat!
The next morning, I was up again, before the sun rose, and surprisingly, so was Sarah, she was so excited that she couldn’t “sleep anymore”, she admitted she hadn’t been up at 5 in the morning since Eric was in school! So the next few hours, while she ate breakfast, decided to go with eggs, bacon, grits, and toast.
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Sarah screamed “ DEAD RAT PARTS! HELP! HELP! DEAD RAT PARTS!”
I told Sarah, OLD CLOTHES! We’re not going to Saks 5th Avenue! Sarah protested and said “These are OLD CLOTHES!” I told her “You cannot go back there wearing high heels, and that scarf wrapped around your neck! We are not going to a gala event!” Sarah insisted, “These are OLD CLOTHES! They’ve been out of style for 2 years now!”
Then I got into my truck, and we were about to leave before the Owner’s Daughter came running up, and I opened my window, she handed me a Thermos, and said “Your Joe is in here, gonna be nice and hot for a long time! C’mon back before dark! Ya hear?”
I was surprised to see his Mom in the back, she’s whipping up Pineapple Upside Down cake! I closed my eyes, and mumbled “HELP ME!” Her son came up and said “Wha’s a maddah?” I said, “your mother! she’s be’a’fixin’ my favorite!”
I glanced at my truck’s clock, it was almost 4 PM, time for me to go, and while I walked out, using the very last film in the Polaroid camera, I took a photo. While waiting for it to manifest, I noticed the 2nd plank of the stairway was “worn” in a weird way. So I walked up, and I lifted it! There’s where Eric stored all the weapons and valuables! Eric built a Hydraulic stairway! He had configured the stairway so that it could be “safely latched” (no fear of stairs coming down on you).
Sarah returned back into the motel room with a “huff”, and I then said “Time for someone to take their shower, bed time! We will rise and shine early.” And of course, Sarah, pushed me aside, and went into her suitcase that left me with “?!?!?!?!” half of the stuff in her suit case was for her bath/shower! She had face peels, face scrubs, wax remover, conditioner, shampoo, exfoliate, night cream, the whole kit and caboodle!
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He told Sarah, he hunted with him often on the property. He also was very helpful here, that old Chevy Truck had a cracked engine block, it hadn’t run in 7 or 8 years, and told Sarah, he brought an engine, paid for it, but they never delivered it. He was going to put a rebuilt engine in it. It’s been sitting there. He also added, Eric had 2 horses, which Don is caring for them. He recommended if Sarah didn’t need or want the horses to sell it to Don for cheap. He would bring Don over later or tomorrow.
Once I got to the County, and while I had a road map, I decided it was best that we stayed at the small Mom & Pop Motel and eat a hot meal there and sleep overnight, then arrive to Eric’s place in the morning. Sarah repeatedly stated “I feel like we just jumped into another time zone”, she was not expecting an old late 1950’s Era Motel, or that noisy Window Air Conditioner. While it was very well cared for, to the fact, the owners also had their own “small restaurant”. I knew about this place, and that’s one reason why I stopped there; I told the Owner’s daughter to “give her the Country Fried Steak with loads of gravy”, she deserved it, with a side of Collards with ham hock, cornbread (they make the best ones with Black Strap (those who know, will know it as Molasses).
I got up and pointed to the board (tacked on the wall) → This is Country stuff - Bacon, Bacon, More Bacon, Sausage, Hash browns, Eggs, Grits, and Toast - which is a regular slapped bread stuck in the toaster! Except here we have Real Milk, Real Coffee, Really Good Coffee, and I believe I will have another cup of Coffee (and I grabbed my mug and Lord knows how many cups I’ve had already!).
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While I was going over the photos, Sarah’s tone changed! She became more and more interested, literally was in awe! I said, we’re going to bed early, you are NOT going to go through a 3–4 hour bedtime shower ritual! You are going to take a bath, put on your PJ’s and wear OLD CLOTHES tomorrow! Meaning Tennis shoes, T-Shirts, and that tight jeans you have!
Sarah invested the money wisely, Eric on the other hand, after he graduated from High School, decided to go to Vocational Tech School, the first year as a mechanic, then the second and third year as a Power-linesman and took Wood/Shop for three years (on the side).
I proceeded to remove the other plywood off on the first floor! Impressive was only putting it lightly! The work Eric did was beyond excellent, it would astonish anyone who saw it! Stuff like these will rake in a fortune! People will pay top dollar for stuff like this!
Then she chimed in, “Before you go, remember the gold and silver you showed me?” I stated “Yes.” She then told me “Follow me.” I followed her, apparently she found the “secret door”, opening it, was an old early 1800’s safe (I knew about this, because Eric wrote of it in his letters). She knew what the combination was, because Eric left a clue in the letters. She was able to open it with ease. It was what was inside that was shocking! The entire wall inside was fireproof and waterproof (I recollected that Eric paid a large sum of money for that installation), and inside of that room was that safe! There were piles and piles and piles of $20, $50, and $100 bills! Banded, all spanking brand new! There had to be at least $1 million (give or take) of cash in there alone! Then she removed a small box that was on top. (Eric made that box.) Inside of it was full of diamonds - raw and cut! It had to be another half million or more in stones by itself!
Then I walked back, and Sarah was finally waking up, it was almost 10:30 in the morning! What was the first thing she said?
The Deputy then said, “No worries, we will figure something out.”
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I was slightly amused to see fans everywhere, old and new and where Eric placed them (in front of the window). He had a nice well built fireplace on both floors, and you could see they have been in use during the winter time, for I double checked the damper and they were closed. (When Eric passed, Winter was over.)
The night went well, then the next morning. I then told her, “This is your last day.” Sarah quickly rebutted with “No! I am staying put!” The Deputy swung by, as I was feeding the chickens, he walked up and then asked “how it was going?” I remarked, “Going quite well, Sarah’s staying.”
← this be me amazed and sorely impressed 🫢🙀😲😯‼️
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While City Lime-light faded out of view, it was nothing but Country and Woods. Where you could see Cattle or Horses roaming, or nothing but Wild Out doors. I mean we were a little more than half way to her Brother’s place when she began to cry. SHE SWORE WE WERE LOST!
Sarah was “somewhat” scared, she didn’t want to be “eaten by Grizzly or Polar Bears” (I had to assure her there are no “grizzlies or polar bears in Florida”.) and basically, Sarah was “afraid of the wilds”, she didn’t want to die in the wilds. I assured her she wouldn’t.
I took them out, and Sarah, calmly came down from the kitchen counter, and glanced over it, poking it with her fingers.
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Was going to call it a day, since it was almost 2:30 PM, and I was going to give Sarah all my findings and assuring her “she can stay here for a few days”. I then closed the refrigerator door (it’s a small apartment sized, where you could put maybe 4 TV dinners in the freezer, an ice cube tray (only tray) and a couple of shelves for milk, etc. Eric had a solid wood-burning oven and stove which was strategically placed so the heat would be away from the house. I remained there for a bit to make sure there’s no “risk for electrical fire” and to be sure the “refrigerator was functioning properly”.
← this be “us” - me and the restaurant family 🙄🙄🙄🙄
Even more so I was expecting it to be ‘very hot’ inside but it wasn’t anywhere near being hot! He had this old huge thermometer (I assume he picked it up or brought it from a garage sale), and it showed it was a 79* F (Fahrenheit inside), and he had two giant (advertisement) thermometers outside, so the outside was reading 89*F in the sun and in the shade was reading 85*F. The huge old oak tree provided sufficient coverage to keep the house cool.
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I then traveled back home. To a degree, “partially disappointed”, because I really wanted to buy that property!
Once dinner was served, he moved up to the “eating area”.
I then suggested that we grab the water containers and fill it up, and go riding on the tract of land that her late brother had brought. However, I kept my distance to see how well she can handle the horse, the Stallion took a lot of affection for her, she chose him, the other Mare liked to stay in the shadows, she took a liking for me. She knew how to saddle up the horse, all the tack in its place. I knew Sarah would do well.
Once again, I told her “hold your horses!” It’s almost dinner time, let’s go eat and I’ll share with you all the photos I took with this old boy! (Holding the Polaroid camera.) I got lots of giggles from customers (all locals) when they saw that. Like one said “I ain’t be’a’seein’ dem darned buggers in’a’ ages! Dem flashy bulbs! Bleh!” (people agreeing about those flashbulbs! I have no comment on that! I agree 100%)
Sarah had a problem, there was no way for her to drive all the way over to Midway, and plus, she had no further information. I went over to her house. She handed me all the mail that her brother who would write from time to time including photos. I asked permission if I could read some of the letters and photos that she had saved, so I could get a “more general” idea as how to deal with her brother’s estate.
The Owner’s daughter came up (also the mama, the grandma), and told Sarah, “SIT HERE HON!” And Sarah wanted to have her Multigrain Bread, medium toasted with Grade A+ honey and a Banana, Apple, and Berries smoothie! The Reaction of the Owner’s face was 100% Priceless!
← me 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
*sigh*
While we all had Country Fried Steaks with all the fixin’s. Sarah wasn’t sure, I kept prodding her to take a bite, she would love it. She was the last person to start eating, and goodness gracious! She devoured it all! She just couldn’t believe this was a “dish” and it was a “real thing”. The Owner’s wife, so I learned, inherited her grandparent’s and parent’s motel. A popular place to “go out to eat”. She chimed in that they were opened 24 hours, it might look like the place was closed, but she assured us that her son handles the nights, because Coppers (Law Enforcement) would stop by for their lunch and breaks, and truckers (Semi Tractor Trailers) would stop by various times in the day and nights. They owned the gas station across the street as well.
Poor Sarah! She literally freaked out! The Deputy was a bit perplexed, and he had to comment “For sure, she’s a genuine City Kitty!” I mean, Sarah didn’t want to go back there, she wanted to go straight home and hide!
← me 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
I opened the refrigerator door, and I literally broke up laughing! I told her - THAT’S QUARTERED RABBIT! I shot two rabbits early this morning while harvesting more stuff, and cleaned them up and quartered it! I am going to make fried rabbit tonight for us!
While pretty much the customers were leaving, onward to work or get to work. Sarah began to shake, I said “What’s the matter now?” She couldn’t do it! This “Country Living” was all new to her! Then finally the Owner’s daughter said “Do you want a bowl of oatmeal? I can throw some berries in it if ya want?”
Then he stopped and said “There’s the driveway.” I thanked him, and I went to check Eric’s mailbox, which had pile of mail for him, and I handed it to Sarah. I then asked the Deputy, about how far back? He said “About a good mile and half down that trail, then you make an easy right, and there will be a couple of sharp left’n’right turns.” I then went to the back of the truck, and loaded up the PUMP shotgun and the hand gun, placed the shotgun in the rack (I moved it to the front) and placed the hand gun beside me.
The Deputy actually told Sarah that recliner chair that she was sitting on, was all hand made by her late brother, he swiped a recliner from the road, carefully dissecting it, and made that chair twice the size. He told her there’s been many times he’s been over and he finds him snoring on the chair with either the record player playing or the TV on in background or both.
The appraiser never knew Eric had 2 and half story property full of stuff. This includes leather (he was an expert in tannery) on the custom built furniture! It was then when the Deputy remarked, how Eric would take couches, chairs, and all, removing all the cushioning off, and turn it into what we see here!
I laughed, and I then told the Deputy, that I was hoping to hit his property on the first shot. He kind of jerked back, and said “What property?” Both his mom and I said at the same time “Eric’s”. He then said “No worries, just follow me! I will take you down. About what time?” I said I was going to wake Sarah up at 7 AM sharp, so I am guessing it would take her at least another hour or two for her to “get ready”, and his mom just busted out laughing!
He then pulled me away from everyone, walking towards the vacant land over by the gas station. He then told me “I was very close with Eric, when our youngest good for nothing son was giving my wife and I and his older sister a rough time. Eric told me to bring him over and he’d teach him a thing or two. Today, his son lives in North Carolina making custom furniture for a well-known Company up there.”
I then put all the stuff by the front door. I was guessing we would be up there for 3–5 days. (about a half of week or week). Our entire drive up North, she swore “we were going to die”.
Eric, then gave his sister, his will, which was very simple. If anything happened to him, Sarah gets his entire estate. Eric told Sarah, that he was going to live ‘Off the Grid’, gave her the address of where he was living.
Sarah, How about if I took you back to the Motel and I go back there myself? NO, Sarah wanted to go home! The Deputy was on the radio, and then he was talking to someone, it sounded like the son’s mom (The motel Owner’s daughter).
I also was able to research online for the plot, which turned out to be over 350 acres of land, had several fresh water springs (potable). Thankfully, Eric took a photo of the roadway, NW to SE (which he was literally at the “end of the road” and he has a mailbox right there on the side of the road, which could be very easily missed. The trail itself was 100% wild, dirt track.
I decided to walk around, he had several aluminum sheds, one was pre-fabricated and the other one, he made by hand. Walked down a bit, and I saw the old Saw Mill, it had to be early 1800s’, and then I saw the hit-miss motor, and a “pipe” laid on the ground (partially exposed) and decided to follow it, there was another water mill at the spring’s narrowest. It’s the generator to the saw mill. He cut his own lumber there, and another shed was over nearby it, stacked with lumber (for cooking and heating).
What Sarah couldn’t get over was “how much the food cost”! I had to hear this most of the night, she felt “we were cheating them out”, there was “no way that dinner cost us $7.95 a plate”. For some reason, I literally cracked up and couldn’t stop laughing! I didn’t mean to “irritate” Sarah, but she was pretty sore at me for laughing at her. I had to put my 2 cents in “Sarah, this is the country, not city. Country living is almost always cheap!”
1 Day before we were to depart, Sarah got the original certificate. I had to state this, I was very amused to see she had packed suitcases (5 of them). I had to explain to her that there’s really no “motels” over there and that was a “bit overboard”. I got her to downsize to ONE suitcase for her clothing. ONE Suitcase for canned food. Sarah was more than “nervous”. I assured her I’ve lived out “off the grid” and that there’s no power, there’s no plumbing, there’s no electricity.
I then proceeded downstairs to the first floor. It was pretty dark, and I elected to open the front door (he made that front door himself), and forced the plywood off. I took photos until I only had one left which I was saving it! Thankfully I found the key, per the letter he wrote “he had hidden a spare key under the rock by the berry bush”. I realized he was in reference to the blueberry bush on the corner of the front porch, I lift the rock and it was the house key, took it with me.
No, she wouldn’t stop there, she grabbed her purse and took out $20.00 bill, and marched herself to the Owner’s daughter and husband and said “Here, this is how much dinner should cost us!” planting $20 firmly in her hand! They glanced over to see me in the background lifting both hands up in the air and shaking my head, still laughing.
You could see the uneasy state they were in and even with my assurance, I knew I couldn’t “promise” them anything, but other than to state “Maybe Sarah might stay put? Who knows?” I thanked them for taking care of the horses, and gave them $2500 (Sarah already gave me the cash money to give to them.) and departed back to Eric’s land.
They are just cracking up!
After I gathered all this information, I contacted Sarah, to see if she wouldn’t mind if I took her up there. It did appear that her Brother, Eric, built a house there, because he wrote about it, and several of the photos revealed, he built a “Log-Cabin” like residency made by him. Of note, they were only “partial” images, for some reason Eric never took the photo of his own house he had built! It’s in the letters to Sarah that he had been busy building his home, and a bunch of other stuff.
I decided to bring a long bow. Spied some rabbits, shot those. Couple of rats (big rats) scampering about, field mice having their field day. Spied some deer, a panther that caught its prey (appeared to be a small (wild) piglet) scurrying about with its meal. Couple of curious raccoons, and while walking back, a couple of skunks were prodding along. I let out a heavy sigh.
Sarah, she was at loss for words. I told her, once the Deputy comes in with the Appraiser, you will get the general idea of how much Eric’s estate was worth, especially all the custom furniture he made. I also told Sarah, once the rain clears up, and from the looks of it (I had the television on), it might be until tomorrow before we could go out to explore the rest of the property.
I informed her, the horses are already here, I put them in their stalls. She didn’t waste a minute to change her clothes and put her tennis shoes on. She followed me to where the horses were and she saw them, she knew what their names were (Eric wrote it in the letters about them) and called for them by name and both approached her.
I had to remind them “Sarah’s not a country bumpkin! Be nice!”
He seemed to be delighted by Sarah’s decision. I did talk to him privately, that she’s a cancer survivor, and she has a property down at (name of city), she will have to somehow, sell the property and possibility go down there, but I won’t be able to bring her down though. The Deputy then said, “Won’t matter, someone here can take her down.” I did told him, “She’s got an old Cadillac, I know she will want that and some stuff from the house too, to be brought up here.”
I then learn while driving, that Sarah had never been very far outside of the area. She had only been to these two big cities, St. Petersburg and Tampa. There was always a grocery store in every corner, there was always a gas station every corner, there was a restaurant, in every corner. She never realized what it was truly like being “out side of the hustle and bustle”.
Sarah hadn’t had “any game” (wild) before, and she loved it! Helped herself for 3rds. The appraiser had the calculator (he went back to work), the value of all the furniture alone in the house was valued at almost $2 million and he realized he forgot to add the dining room table which Sarah didn’t particular care for, it contained women with exposed breasts on the legs! Sarah made a snide comment that “no one would buy this dining room table for $200!” The guy nearly jumped!
Just as he said, I began to make an easy right, then a sharp left, which went around a very old oak tree and then to a sharp right. I could see that old Chevy Pick up truck in the distance so I knew I was there.
I was able to call the Court Clerk, and informed her of Sarah’s medical situation and who I am (Minister) and I would be driving her up, however, there were no “date” set due to her being on the last rounds of Chemo. The Clerk said if Sarah could, she could award me the POA (Power of Attorney) and I could handle the deed work for her and turn the documents over to Sarah.
I locked the house up, walked around one more time, and then got into the truck and left. When I drove back to the motel, the owner’s granddaughter met me, she told me Sarah’s about to leave on her own, she was calling the Greyhound right now. I immediately went back to the Motel room, my face was beaming! The owner’s Daughter came running up (curious of course).
Following the sound, I could see why the rocks were placed there, the generator was needing to be fixed. It was something I could do myself, so I went back and put the rocks back in to stop the water mill, and repaired it, then returned back and the generator was purring. The generator is what he used for “electricity inside”, for a very small refrigerator (which was empty, thank goodness), lights and surprisingly, a small television with rabbit ears and a high end Bose sound system, and a very old record player (he had piles of albums - LPs’ to 45’s).
It was now almost 10 PM, I was about to doze off, when I decided to get up, and boom, Sarah opened the door, nearly startling me! She was done, and it’s time for bed, and she went to pack up all this stuff back into her suitcase, DONE? I don’t think so, she had this little bottle of whatever it was, standing there in front of the room with all the lights on, griping that “there wasn’t enough lights” putting her “bedtime night oils” on!
At that time, Sarah was battling with the same thing her mother had, cancer. Sarah phoned me at home, she was a bit perplexed. She had no idea where this city, Midway, Florida was. I told her it was in Lafayette County, in Florida.
Then the Deputy who was to take us down got called, towards the NW side, incident. He gave me his mobile number and for me to call when we were ready to head down and he will find a way to get back to us.
More customers were incoming, and it’s almost 5:30, and the tiny restaurant was pretty busy! They pretty much told me to get it myself (coffee), I must had been on the 4th or 5th one when I brewed a new pot for them!
For some reason, I decided to grab my old hunting binoculars, something over there was grabbing my attention, sure enough, there were 2 does and a buck grazing along. Then a couple of Trash Bandits (Raccoons) scurried along, running up to the restaurant with hopes for a “free hand out”.
I assured him “She doesn’t have any idea about this line of work, but I think she’s trying to put it off cheap at $200,000.00…” Which Sarah said “NO I SAID TWO HUNDRED!” The guy just glared at her, and immediately told her that what I said was putting it cheap, it was worth about $320,000.00! He assured both of us, this by far was the most valuable item in the house was that dining room table!
Sarah tossed me the entire shoe box, and told me “here, take it all and see if it helps”. I assured her all would be returned (she had it very organized by month/year) in the same fashion as she handed it to me. Sarah then contacted the County Coroner, and found out his body was transported to the local funeral home, per his wishes, to be cremated. She had to get the funeral home name and telephone number so she could find out how to collect his remains. It turned out that Eric had it set up, so once he was cremated, that his ashes to be scattered on his land. There were no “next of kin” on the order, this was why the Funeral Home never touched bases. Sarah then found out her brother’s ashes were scattered on her brother’s land. There was a short “video of proof” and photo with the “Funeral Home Marker” (proof of where remains were scattered).
Then the Deputy came back while Sarah was almost finishing her coffee. She paid for her meal, while it was only $2.99 but she insisted on paying $5.00. And I put my $5.00 on the counter for all that coffee I had!
Sarah just sat there, speechless, and finally broke the silence of “My doctors would be literally shocked to see you clogging your arteries with all this gunk!” And the Son didn’t miss a beat, belts out “BUT THEY’RE THE GOOD GUNK! REAL GOOD GUNK!”
“YAY FOX! YAY!” and ::: bumped ::: into a Deputy. I swore he put himself there on purpose because I saw the Owner’s son and another customer there laughing at me! I turned around and said “Excuse me! Sorry!” The Deputy just stood there snickering. I went inside, and the Owner’s son then said “Wha’ll ya have?” I just said “Blonde”. And sat myself at the bar stool at the counter.
She then grabbed two stacks of $50 (banded) which is $1,000.00 per the bundle, and handed it to me. Then grabbed a couple of $20s’ and handed this to me stating to cover insurance and shipping it to her, from the item list she gave me. She handed me the house key to the property. I also told her if she’s going to have the car shipped up there, I would need the key for that. I also made sure she told me where all the important papers were in the house and I would ship it overnight, insured mail, so she would have all the VIP paperwork first.
The Sheriff stated that his neighbor, Don, was caring for Eric’s 2 Horses, and they would alert Don who was the one reporting poaching on his and Eric’s properties. I thanked him for that information and told them to “touch bases with Don in provision of our names”, and then on top of it all, it turned out that only Don had a landline phone on his property, an old GTE pay phone booth that he brought. Only the locals know where it is, they told me where to find it if “I” ever need to use it, with a slight chuckle of “make sure you have dimes on you”. Well it is a pay-phone booth. They gave me the telephone number to that payphone booth so I would have it handy.
I quickly chimed in “Let me guess, he’s over in High Point? (NC)” The Deputy reacted very quickly and said “Yes, he’s there! How didya know?” I told him “I’m very familiar of that area, my late friend lived up there and his family were into that stuff.” He was all smiles, and then said “Y’all are going down there tomorrow right?”
“Reverend? How much is my home worth down there?”
Poor Sarah, she had no idea what a Country Fried Steak was or “loads of gravy”. She swore I was trying to kill her! She had no idea what Collard greens were or much less, ever tasted cornbread! The Owner’s wife, apparently she learned about “our” arrival from a Deputy (it’s very hard not to ‘gossip’ in these small towns). She seated herself in front of us, introduced herself. And yes, she knew about Eric very well, they would ask him to shoot a nice fat pig (wild boar) for their “holiday” requests.
Sarah wanted to see the horses. (Sarah once had a horse, adopted an old mare, so she was very highly familiar with horses, as that old mare, she had for years, until the mare died of old age, who was kept in the stables not too far off from where she was raised.)
← me again 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
I decided, to leave them there.
Then her Granddaughter came up and cleared the table, and her grandma then said “Bring the dessert”, so she came back with this huge slice of Chocolate Cake, all made from scratch. With the Owner’s daughter said “I made it this morning!” Sarah was in heaven! I couldn’t finish mine, in fact, I had cut it in half, they put it in the box for me. I left a $20 tip.
She already retreated to her ritual 2–3 hour bedtime event. I just yelled through the door that I will be down stairs, sleeping in the other big bedroom.
I honestly didn’t know if we would return or not, I mean, Eric’s got a house back there. So the Deputy lead the way and I followed him, it was about a good solid almost 7 mile drive, with several turns and banking; before he slowed down, and put his turn signal on, You could see the dead-end barricade down towards the end.
Right after I said that, I was totally unaware the Deputy was behind me, he heard me, and nearly startled me when he put his hand firmly on my shoulder and blurted out “DAT’S RIGHT MA’AM! YA HEARD HER!”
One of the customers knew this guy (Appraiser) and said he would take him home. I was about to leave until she came running to me, with a box. She made pecan pie, and wanted me to take it back as a housewarming gift. I thanked her.
Eric did have the property “TOD” (Transferable on death) to his Sister, Sarah. The County of Lafayette Property Clerk contacted Sarah the next day, and she needed to go up to get the deed. I was in the middle of making notes, and using my copy machine making copies of the photos which I felt were “important” or “needed”.
(Anyone feeling sorry for me yet?)
Grabbed the coffee and went up to the 3rd floor. Under the full moon, which was about to set, you could see far from all directions. I could see a sow and her cubs tagging along (bear), deer were way over there, and all kinds of wildlife, small and large. I pulled the chair over, to watch the sun rise. I must had dozed off, because I heard “clop clop clop” of the horses hitting the seashells on the roadway. I glanced and saw the guy riding his horse with the other trailing. Both were saddled. I knew this had to be Don. While going downstairs, I could see Sarah was still on the “snooze cruise”.
We both had to tell Sarah to put her tennis shoes on!
The weapons were all secured, handguns to rifles, from spears, to expensive fishing poles, to longbow, cross bow, compound. All the ammo and arrow heads were all secured. Plus his “secret” stash, he had tons of gold and silver (jewelry, coins, etc).
It was dark when we arrived back, and the cow was back in her pen. Sarah insisted on tending the horses and I decided to proceed with making fried rabbit.
Then my main concern was the “weapons”, I would need to remove those off the premises as soon as possible. I searched high, and I searched low. Puzzled, from the looks of everything, I knew Eric was no “dummy”. I almost wished I brought the shoe box of his letters to Sarah, his sister. Then suddenly, I recollected how he had installed “lifts” on the stairs. I figured, he had things hidden in the stairs, since the stair way was well “walled in”. I searched the walls, heck, I even tried to turn the “finale” on the stairway (think - Addam’s Family television). I admit, I was becoming frustrated.
They had a small Television at the corner, and since no one knows what happened to the remote, and it’s always stuck on that channel. I asked them what channel they liked, and they told me CBS, so I went behind the television and put it to that station. Her son literally dropped everything to learn how to change channel without a remote! WOW! He made notes! I then intentionally changed the channel quickly and told him “Put it back to your station”, he did it! He also learned how to use all the features from the “television”. So that was some “exciting moment” for them.
Once I came back, Sarah already unpacked her suitcase, she decided she’s going to stay on the second floor bedroom because the “view was awesome”. Yes, there’s a bathroom upstairs, just a sink, toilet, and shower only, which could be rightfully called a “Master bathroom” to a degree. (Downstairs bathroom had a cast iron claw-foot tub (restored) with the old fashioned center overhead shower head with circular curtains , the old early toilet (pull chain with tank way up there - restored). The sink (pedestal) was also antique and restored. The mirror and light fixtures were original to early 1900′s to 1920′s Era. All the Cabinets and shelves were made by her late brother, Eric.
I gutted the boar and tossed him in the washing tub. Proceeded to start the wood fired stove. I grabbed the cleaning stuff to clean the rifle, and Sarah went to investigate the entire house, every nook and cranny! But she wouldn’t go up on the 3rd floor (very small place), because it was lightning and hard pouring rain.
I had to make copies of the images to zoom it up, and Eric did have “barb wire fences and posts”, with numerous signs which could be easily made out “No Trespassing”, “No Hunting”, “No Fishing”, “No Poaching”.
What Sarah did not know or understand, was when the Sheriff’s Office came to her house to state, her brother, Eric, a hermit, was found deceased, the Coroner stated he died from heart attack.
4 months after the death of Eric, I had already touched bases with the Sheriff’s Office and gave explicit instructions that “No One” is allowed to be on the property of Eric (last name). If they find anyone, arrest immediately and charge accordingly.
The weather wasn’t really “a nice outlook”, there was rain and storms heading our way, that should reach us about lunch time. I did tell Sarah to go to the store (small Piggly Wiggly) to pick up some bread, milk, Coffee (Yes, her brother had a Mr. Coffee Maker at the house), salad dressing, and maybe grab some meat for dinner, I could hunt a rabbit or so on the land, they were plentiful.
The Deputy asked why I would need the appraiser, I told him, all those stuff Eric had made, all hand made and well crafted, will bring nice money on the table! The Deputy was very quick to state “Yeah, I know, he made my wife and I a dining room table with matching chairs. We paid him $1000.” I nearly jerked and said “ONE THOUSAND? It would be worth more than ONE THOUSAND!” He said “Yeah I know, it’s worth about Seven Thousand or higher.”
Apparently during the last round of Chemo, she had blabbered on to the treating Staff about her brother Eric, and how she would have to go up. A few months later, her treating Doctor informed her “You are cancer-free” and he also added “her going up to her Brother’s estate would do wonders for her health.” He encouraged her to go.
Eric was granted permission of full access to his bank account once he turned 18.
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It was almost 6:30 when I saw Sarah come outside, she was in a panic! I rushed out and told her “I’m right here!” She was freaking out! She had totally forgot she was sleeping in the motel, woke up in a strange place! I calmly assured her, everything’s fine, it was all new to her. Go get dressed and we will be heading out to her late Brother’s estate. I instructed her “wear old clothes”.
It took Sarah about an hour and half to get dressed to the nines!
I brushed my hair, and grabbed my boots, quietly unlocking the door and went outside. There were a bunch of wild chickens running around, and closely watching the fox, hoping to catch one of them. I was actually rooting for the fox! Fox got it! With feathers flying and the proud fox ran off with its meal!
He was a bit surprised, and said “After the hell she put you through in the beginning.” “Yup!” was my response. He then saw Sarah coming out from the barn and walked over to her, they began to chat away. Then the Deputy walked back to me (I was loading all my stuff, because I was leaving in the morning.) and said “He’s going to tell Don and his wife to come over. They will be thrilled to know Sarah’s staying put!”
The property map was on the wall in the stair case, well secured. There were copies (printed out) which you can take with you. I grabbed those. We rode side by side. We both knew Eric had a couple of cattle, that were free roaming. We spied the cattle, rode up to check on them. Sarah wanted to bring the cattle back to the pens, because she could milk the cow. When I checked the heifer was pretty much aged. So I just roped the heifer and we decided to head on back since the sun was getting low.
← picture me again 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
We secured the weapons in their proper place, while I have a side holster (for the 44 magnum), she elected to keep the .22 in the rifle side holster. I made sure that the compass was with me. I also bundled up a Pup Tent (in case we wandered too far away from “home”.) From being up there on the third floor, I could see where the beaten trail was going W-NW direction.
Her dad waved his hand, “Go on”. I thanked them, grabbed my towel, clothes, shampoo, soap, and conditioner and went into the room next door and took a quick shower, put my hunting garments on, but decided to leave my boots off, walked barefoot back inside (a trucker came in for his usual, where he is seen chatting with her Son), grabbed the cleaning stuff, and cleaned the room up. He caught me coming back in and I said “All clean and done, thank you”, and left the key on the counter. He followed behind me, and went inside the room where I showered, and I was still outside seated (Yes, Sarah was still in the bathroom) when he came up and said “Thanks! No one’s ever done this before. But Thanks!” Left with a sincere appreciation that I took my time to clean up after myself.
Sarah hesitated at first, but the more and more I spoke of her late Brother’s place, she finally just couldn’t wait to go! I then spoke with the Deputy (while Sarah went to take a shower, normally, like everyone else did, so at least I could take mine), asking him if he knew of any good appraisers. While I had stated “I would buy this entire place as is for myself if I could, but it’s solely up to Sarah.”
Then the Deputy came back, and said “Sarah, she’s going to stay here and ‘vestigate, and Imma going to take ya back to the place. Let her look through it all, and when she comes back later and gives you info, then you can decide! Alright?”
Sarah, the Executrix of the estate of her brother, Eric, who is the youngest sibling of the 3. Their oldest brother, David (who was 23), was killed serving overseas. Eric had just graduated from High School, when their dad died, for their mother died (cancer) when Sarah was only 17, a Sophomore in High School.
It was my decision to leave the lights on, so that poachers and illegal fisher/hunter people would think someone’s home. Why wasn’t I surprised to see an electric hot water tank? He had plumbing, and I assumed everything was on “septic” system too. To be honest, I didn’t want to leave!
I then saw the garden plot (recognizing the location from photos I had copied), and tomatoes were ripe, quite a few cantaloupes were ready to pick, some exploded watermelon, and I began to harvest everything. He had a basket . I picked Green Beans, Okra, Tomatoes, pulled some lettuce, Cantaloupes, and all, then went inside and cleaned them up, remembering that the refrigerator was ‘small’, and found some bowls, placed them all inside.
WARNING: All real names and “ages” have been removed including name of city and county! THIS IS A LONG STORY!
Returned back, and tended the horses, like Don told me, where Eric kept the horses, was well secured, he wasn’t kidding me that the horses stall had plenty of spring water to drink. Eric had really stock piled the horse feed, and plenty of hay! I am not even sure how I missed this! But again, Eric’s land was over 400+ acres (420 acres). We probably only covered 15–20 acres! I wasn’t surprised that the horses knew which one was their stall, because they retreated to it and grazed on the mush I made (a treat) with some fresh fruits (watermelon and cantaloupe chopped). I left the gates opened and the barn door opened so they could go into the corral if they so liked.
I left the porch doors opened, because there was a nice breeze to air it out. It’s what’s inside that left me in a complete daze! I went down the “little stairs” to the 2nd floor, every single wood was hand-crafted! Every single piece of furniture was all done by hand! It seemed he brought the mattresses and cushions by themselves on most of the stuff he had inside. There was a lot of leather, and you could see “Eric made those!”
Sarah graduated High School, and rejected the admission to University because she didn’t want to leave Eric all by himself at the house, she was like a “Second Mom” than a “sister”. She remained home, as a “stay a home” sibling, taking care of the house, seeing bills were paid, and making sure Eric finished school. Sarah was 9 years older than Eric.
We just got to the front end of the property and Sarah didn’t want to go anywhere! I then made a suggestion:
←Me 😐🤭🫢😑😐
I went to the bathroom, and I was left scratching my head, Motels do not provide Nightlights, but apparently I remembered, Sarah must had brought that one with her, I chuckled! Then I glanced over to see Sarah, wrapped her entire hair in a towel, have her night shades on, and I have no idea what that was “Facial Night Pads”? On her face.
Then I wound up sitting on the recliner and go figure, I fell asleep! It’s been years since I’ve heard a cock (rooster) crow, I forgot to take off my hearing aid, and the crowing woke me up. I then looked at my clock (a digital clock that I had brought with me just in case) and it was 5:11 AM. I overslept! Got up, brewed some coffee. While the coffee was brewing, I checked the entire house, and checked on Sarah, she was sound asleep. I studied her, she had the most ‘angelic’ expression on her face. I knew she was at peace.
I went up to the 2nd floor (under the deck or porch) to remove the plywood off from there, and leaving the windows slightly ajar to allow breeze to flow through. Eric was a very smart man, he even made awnings for the window which would keep rain away.
She screamed “IN THE DAMMIT REFRIGERATOR!”
I said “Where?”
David (who was still alive at that time), made sure to give Sarah, $350 a month to help with the expenses which was automatically deposited to Sarah’s checking account that was primarily for the Home and Care of Eric. When the news of their Brother was KIA (Killed in Action), David had a will that secured his sister and brother - “If ever” anything happened to him, everything would go to Sarah and when Eric became of age, he would get half of the estate.
I then retreated to the kitchen and peeled all the meat from the boar, and put some into the refrigerator and the remainder - stuffed somewhere in the freezer. I decided to go out to the front porch (it was screened, just not on the third floor wrap around deck). I just then realized I had missed the “Hen House”, and grabbed a flashlight, and found the chickens (free range, free roaming). Found eggs, and oddly, he had a light there (pull chain) so I inspected the eggs, and tossed away the bad ones and put aside the ones almost to hatch, and the others to eat. Had almost 2 dozen eggs! For some reason, I decided to go back out to the garden, harvest some more, using the old Coleman Oil lantern. Gathered a basket full of that and spied a Banana tree with ripe Bananas, whacked that down and tied the stalk on a rope and hung it in the kitchen (I realized then that was what the hook on the ceiling was for).
I wasn’t watching where I was going, I was heading to the restaurant for a Cup of Blonde (Coffee with Cream) and I said
Well, the Owner’s daughter (who wasn’t aware I had been eating on the property) came in and gave me a dinner plate sized Pineapple Upside down cake (one of my favorites), HALF A PAN SIZE! Groan! This was torture! (PS: Those curious, yes, I ate the whole danged half of a cast iron pan sized thing! Wished I didn’t! Had a belly ache afterwards, but it was soooooooooo good!)
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She then went into the refrigerator and SHRIEKED! I thought to myself “OH NO!” and only to find Sarah seated on top of the counter trying to put her legs up on it! I came running! WHAT?! WHAT?!
Sarah was nearly in tears, but agreed. So into his cruiser and they were gone, I proceeded forward, slowly! Remember, this is just a “trail driveway”. It was slow going, which I was surprised, it was well kept, well packed with seashells even though some weeds had overgrown over it, a couple of pot holes, but it seemed that the front part of it was the “hard part” of getting in, afterwards, it was smooth sailing! I admit I was partially concerned about “sugar sand”. (Those who know, knows!)
I am so glad I brought my ancient Polaroid camera with several packages of film. I took a lot of photos (thankfully they all came out very good). I grabbed my flashlight and there was a ladder where the shrubbery gained hold of, chopped it free and went up to enter via the roof, Carefully removing the plywood boards. I was able to get inside easy, because there were no “lock” way up there.
Both had tons of questions as what “her decision would be”? Both were gravely concerned that some “crazy person” might get the property. They didn’t like crazy people! I assured them I understood their concerns, but what Sarah’s going to do. I have no idea, it wasn’t my place to make that decision. I did tell them, if I could, I would personally buy the property for myself and my son! This was our style of living.
The Deputy came out and she told him “Grabba chair son.” He did, she explained to him why we were here, and had to state “That woman who fixed herself all nice and dolly is still be’a’sleepin’.”
Trust me, they grabbed those chairs, their ears were perked up with curiosity! They couldn’t understand why I said “I” had a very long wait, until I told them I had just found out what she packed in half of her suitcases and began listing the stuff she had in there! L'Oreal, Este Launder, Clairol, and those women couldn’t stop laughing! I assured them, “this was a very high chance that this was actually her first time at a motel, away from home!”
While we were eating, she decided to go with their “homemade fried chicken dinner” with all the fixin’s. I really wasn’t hungry! (It might be because I ate half of the cantaloupe and half of the watermelon, some tomatoes from the land.) But I did return the thermos, after I washed it clean, and set it aside to dry.
Then Sarah said “Oh, the horses come in today.”
I stated, about high end - about $200,000.00 (today’s 2024 price would be $850,000.00). I then asked her why? She said “I am going to live here! I am not selling anything. I am going to live here! Not selling!”
One week before Sarah and I were to head up to Midway, FL, I phoned the Sheriff’s Office to let them know “His sister was going up and I will be the one driving her there”. The Deputy who responded to my call informed that I should be fully armed when entering. I then learned they had arrested 3 poachers recently. They also stated that the County had “boarded up” the house so all things inside were intact. There would be a posted “County Sign” on the property, and they faxed me the “certification of access”, Sarah should get the original one any day now.
She then said “So this is the big day?” I said ‘yeah.’ With hopes I could find it the first shot. She then banged on the window and waved to the boys, and her son was getting up and she shook her head “no”, and he pointed to a guy, she shook her head “no”, and pointed to the Deputy, she nodded her head yes.
After we grabbed the groceries, we headed down, by the time I was driving on the “long driveway”. Sarah was very wide eyed. She was now thinking “Tornadoes are going to kill us!” I assured her that we will arrive safe and sound. The rain began to pour, and amazingly, once I arrived to the house, it was almost like a “quick break” to allow us to grab the stuff and get inside.
← this be me: 🙄🙄🙄🙄
Trust me, I wanted to say “Sarah, this is not a spa!” So I went outside, for I knew she was probably going to be in the shower for at least 1 to 2 hours. While I sat outside, enjoying the “Lightning bugs”, one managed to land on me, which I was playing with it when the Owner’s Daughter and her granddaughter walked outside. They were a bit concerned, so I told them to pull themselves a chair, for I will have a very long wait.
Sarah’s face beamed, and said Yes Please! Maple Syrup and Brown Sugar and Cinnamon on top! It was the Owner’s daughter that said “I suppose you want whipped cream on top with sprinkles?” (Sarcastic) And Sarah didn’t miss a beat, and said “Sure, please!”
Well, her mom got them all the batter in the cast iron skillets (she made a dozen) and tossed them into the oven, then she blurted out “Gimme a sec’ hon, I’ll be right wid’ ya”. Since her son was chattering with the boys, I walked over and refilled my coffee and poured some cream and went outside on the chair by the restaurant. She quickly grabbed her coffee and we sat outside.
I can still hear her granddaughter blurting out “O M G! I don’t even have any … heck, all I got is Soap, Shampoo, Hair Conditioner!” then blurts out “And I look okay? Don’t I” everyone in the group nodded their heads. Then her Dad (Owner’s Daughter son) came out, grabbed his rocking chair, joined with us in chit chat. The granddaughter then came back and handed me a key, to the other room (not in use), so at least I could take a shower, she couldn’t believe that she’s still in the bathroom over an hour and half! (Well, almost 2 hours for me.)
What I didn’t know is if she knew how to handle a weapon or not. After lifting the stairway, she piled the 32 caliber rifle and loaded it up just fine, she also took a small handgun (.22), and she apparently had a lot of training on weapons which I was relieved in knowing that. I took my own Pump (shot gun) and elected to go with the .44 magnum revolver.
Since Sarah already picked her bed, I just put the boots beside the bed and went to sleep. I have no idea when Sarah turned the all lights off, except for the bathroom nightlight → she brought that one with her! I must had been out cold! I woke up, (glad they have a digital clock there) at my usual time, around 4 AM.
Sarah’s reaction to her late brother’s house had left her jaw floored! She didn’t know what to make of it! I told her, “Your brother built it all.” I then saw a small boar, I immediately lift the stairs and grabbed the rifle, and put the bullet in it, even though the scope on it wasn’t sighted for me, I was going to take the risk. I shot and boom, landed the boar. Yes, it was raining outside, and yes, it was lightning. I went to grab a rope and tied it up, in the pouring rain and dragged the boar all the way to the side of the house (where the wood fire stove/oven was). I just then realized that Eric placed a Washing Tub sink nearby it! I am dead serious, there was so much to Eric’s home that I pretty much have reasons to believe I may had missed it! In addition had a small outside pull chain shower (with privacy fence). Which is often known as a “Mud shower”, to clean yourself up before you go in the house.
I then told Sarah… We’re going over tomorrow! You will love it there! I am guaranteeing that you’re going to be blown away! Sarah, she wasn’t sure! She just wanted to “get rid of the property” and “go home!”
All the children were awarded inheritance, and the house was theirs, which David paid for and instructed them to stay home and go to school, take care of the house, while he served the Military. Sarah had both a savings account and checking account. Both David and Sarah felt it was best, due to their brother, Eric being only 15 at the time. To invest in high interest CD’s and Savings account for him.
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I went down and saw it was almost 7:30 AM, and opened the front door to greet him. I introduced myself, and told him “Sarah” was still in bed, asleep. He told me the names of the horses, and I thanked him for bringing them over. I then took him home, where he introduced his wife. Both were sweet hearts!
Yes, I stopped for a brief moment, at the old PayPhone booth. The Utility pole, you could see the old landline wiring swing over to a couple smaller poles and to the phone booth. I even put a dime in it and dialed for the time (yes, folks, the time is still working today → you can dial (303) 499–7111 - ATOMIC TIME - US MILITARY which of course, asked me to “Please insert 50 cents”. HA!), and corrected my truck’s clock as I was 2 minutes off!
On the top was piled with planks (future projects? Repairs? Probably) and inspecting a few, those will sell for high prices, apparently he pulled Cypress out from down the water front. I could see Cypress knees everywhere. He used a couple of them for Light Stand in his house.
Just like the Deputy promised, he brought the Appraiser in, and to my surprise, the Appraiser knew Eric very well, he had sold some hand made furniture which he received a percentage of all the sales Eric did. What he didn’t know was the vast amount that Eric had built from ground up! Cabinets, free standing wardrobes, dressers, desks, etc.
While I now was prepping up dinner, I invited the Appraiser to join us, which was no problem; he’s a widow and hadn’t had a homemade cooking meal in years. While I was setting the table, I brewed homemade southern iced Tea (using Mr. Coffee maker). I roasted the boar to the final stages, and put the Stewed okra with tomatoes and bits of “bacon fat” from the boar, and proceeded to make “fry bread”. The very dining room table we were about to eat off from, was a 4 seat-table with a extension to make it a 8 seat. I had to add the leaf to the table, for the Appraiser was tallying up the value.
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The next morning, I was getting ready to leave when Sarah approached me and said “She made her decision. She’s going to donate her parent’s house so the Women and their children could be protected (Spouse Abuse).” She had a list of stuff she wanted me to pack and ship to her, everything else can remain in the house. She found out that she could have her Cadillac shipped to her.
You could see the old farmer’s sink, he either had to pick it up or in brought it at a garage sale, or auction, who the heck knew where or what. I am dead serious, he built the entire house himself, cabinets, flooring, stairs, and everything! He had 2 bedrooms, one upstairs and one downstairs.
Then Sarah excused herself, she had to “fix herself up”. And immediately my face drained, and I thought “Oh Lord, NO! We need to go!” I told Sarah, just comb your hair, get into your tennis shoes or her boots (no idea what boots they were, but I found out the hard way, they were designer dress boots with super high heels!). When she came out, the Deputy’s jaw literally dropped, and he said “Ma’am, you ain’t going out there dressin’ up like that?! Are you?!”
OKAY FOLKS! I ADMIT! I literally cracked up! Almost falling to the floor laughing my butt off! Poor Sarah, couldn’t understand why people were looking at her funny! I had to gather myself! I told Sarah, these country folks do not have a clue what you’re talking about! They do not do “SMOOTHIES” out here! And “Multigrain bread with Grade A+ Honey” are all “City Kitty” stuff!